Post by rassilon on Aug 26, 2011 17:12:40 GMT -8
Yeah I got em who doesn't right? Normally I couldn't care less because I steer clear of them when it comes to being close... But it sort of fell into my lap one day... And to make matters worse its an online thing... I don't date chick online thats just not how you do things... Because in my experience it always ends up bad... Yes I have done it in the past... Plans to meet etc... All fails because they end up being untrustworthy or some other sort of bs... I'm sure you have heard it all before... So I will cut to the chase... This girl has been a friend of mine for over 2 years online... We talked well chatted online in this time... Normally I end up getting them on the phone when I get to be friends so I can get a feel about the person and there someone I can trust and well who they really claim to be!... Granted some will have pictures and make it obvious they are for real... But thats not how I operate... If I cant get you on the phone then I cant be bothered with trusting you... I figure for someone I meet to atleast want to talk in person within a month or two of meeting unless I don't even talk to then then who cares... Well its been the 2 years and no phone conversation with this girl... At first I could care less I had alot of other friends who I could call... But we got closer mostly because she started flirting with me more and more... This was maybe 3 months ago when it started to get my attention... Well if your aware of how the heart operates then you know when someone is in love with you... You can feel it... Theres a connection... And you tend to know what the other is thinking! OK so I got sucked in by her but she never gave me any indication I couldn't trust her... Other than the phone!... Well we got close but still friends... Honestly though when you have those feelings its more than friendship... Especially when two people are in love right? Thats when I started to notice the hot and cold episodes she would put me though... Get real close then pull back... Of course I was already in love with her something serious... And I think I made the mistake of telling her I wanted to be with her because it only got worse after that... Now I know the heart doesn't lie... She does love me but she pulls away every time it gets intense... So now here I am trying to figure out how to stay friends with this woman without her sucking me back in... Ive been doing alot of research on Love Addiction and thats what sent me to this forum... I'm pretty sure shes a Seductive Withholder with a tendency to narcissist behavour... She gets cold and becomes a tad mean sometimes but nothing too serious... Just tries to talk down to me and picks things I do apart... But when shes warmed up shes very sweet and talks in a positive manner... Now idk if its something I have done to provoke her but I'm pretty certain I have been very kind to her... Hell even when she gets in her narcissist mode I don't fight back... I ask her why shes acting this way and she says shes the same as shes always been... So shes obviously in denial as well... Finding out why she does these things like I have in the past week has helped me alot in understanding her... Like the phone... She tells me shes not a phone person... And that discussing feelings gives her anxiety but shes ok with it in texts or messages... I personally feel she gets anxiety anytime intimate feelings arise... Before I knew about all the types of love addictions I was beating myself up trying to figure out whats wrong with me when its her the whole time! So now it doesn't bother me as much... But I still love her and the thing is I know we cant be together because of this... And I know I cant walk away from her either... Thats just not an option... So I need some serious advice here on what to do to keep this woman as a friend at the very least...