Post by Loving My Life on Nov 27, 2011 5:29:53 GMT -8
welcome izerk, thanks for sharing your story with us. your are at the right place, you will find alot of support and knowledge here. and the first thing that i see in your posting is you need to go complete nc (no contact) with all of the ex's, and focus on yourself and saving your marriage. read the thread about triangles, and read the other threads that you can relate too. keep posting here. again welcome and we are glad your here.
One day at a time :-) :-). . .We can do together, what we could never do alone. :-) And a problem shared, is a problem cut in half. :-) :-)
Welcome! I used to be a womanizer too. It robbed me of my peace. The more women I've gotten the more miserable I felt. It's self-defeating. You are not only cheating on your wife but w/ yourself as well bec you are not fulfilling your real obligation to your family. Sooner or later it will all catch up on you. How will you feel if your son got cheated on when he grows up? If you truly love your family give up selfishness. Cut-off your internet dating service or social networking w/ all women , apply no contact to your ex and get on w/ recovery programs.
I totally second what go12 has said, they are wise words.
Addiction is a disease of self. If you want to change yourself, you are going to have to do it for yourself. What I mean is that you cannot try to heal and grow just to get back what you have lost. Your addiction and behaviors are all ways of avoiding yourself and your own pain.
Yes, you want your marriage back, being able to be with your son, but you have behaved in a way that the mom may not ever be able to trust you again. Please know that if you decide to heal and recover your life, that you may not ever be with them in a family way, but you can become a healthier person for yourself and your son. You say you now know love, I hope you remember that and don’t let your son down the way you have let yourself down. Becoming a better person is important so that you can be a example to your son.
Choosing to grow up and act like a man or woman is the most important thing we will ever do in our life. I totally support your new understanding you are a LA, I am a addict too, I get it.
Find a meeting, LA or SLAA or SAA. It will help you meet others who have chosen to stop the madness. The support of other men and the willingness to stop living out the pattern of sex and love and romance addiction will take you on a new path, one you can be proud of.
Getting a good counselor can help lots too, just be aware they are not all equal. So you may need to try more than one. Men in support groups usually know the ones that can effectively deal with LA.
The men you meet who are similar (and there are lots of them) will be your biggest support and help.
Glad you’re here and remember on this journey, there will be many bumps along the road, but they will all be worth it. And also, remember that we are not perfect, but as long as we are really trying to be our best self, we are gaining our dignity and self worth back.
Welcome! I agree with what everyone has already stated so I just want to further encourage you to read and share a lot. This is a great place to recover and grow. Cheerz to you for making the first step in bettering your life!
In order for her to understand your addiction UNDERSTAND HER 1ST. See things from her point of view also. There is no excuse for cheating even you are in addiction or not. That's part of the consequences of betraying one's trust more than once. You cannot control her emotion but what you can do is to prove to yourself you are going for recovery bec addiction destroys you and your relationship.