Post by Susan P. on Jul 28, 2012 12:17:14 GMT -8
It is time we talked about this touchy subject.
Most incest survivors are either love addicts or love avoidants. Before we had these terms we would use titles such as nymphomaniacs, sex addicts, promiscuous, or frigid. Sexual anorexics is the SLAA term (I think)
My son is 41. He just confessed to me last night that he started having sex when he was 6 with his sister, baby sitter and cousins. They were all older than him. We used to rationalize this as "playing doctor" but I have watched my granddaughters being raised without being sexualized at such a young age and I now believe it is not healthy.
I already knew that my daughter had been raped by her uncle and that the penetration broke down her cervix. As a result, it could not hold the weight of her first baby and she was born prematurely. She lived 14 days (see my memoirs). She was in the hospital for 6 weeks with her next child and had to have her cervix stitched closed for her third child.
I was molested by my father. This changed me forever.
Incest survivors often get involved in the sex trade. I was a prostitute and today I dislike sex.
The following was just inserted to the original text which I posted a year ago. It is an addendum.
Therapy helped me put all the pieces together. I started out with no memory and insisted that my father loved all his children equally.
Through a flashback that came when I wanted to have sex with my therapist (transference) I remembered the incest. I thought I hated it.
Mt therapist asked me one day why I wanted to have sex with him. I answered things like he was handsome, intelligent etc. He asked me again, and again, until I finally screamed at him, "Don't you understand, I want you to pick up where my father left off."
Apparently the incest was more complicated. I was seduced by being stroked by my dad, got a crush on him and was left aroused when he left the room. I was ashamed and humiliated then and now, but the truth shall set you free. I continued therapy and eventually forgave myself. I am working on forgiving him.
The best book about this is The Courage to Heal.
Please post about your experiences.
Why do I share such horrific details? John Bradshaw said that to help people understand this subject you have to give details. He said imagine a woman in court saying "I was molested," versus "I was held down by my father while he shoved a coke bottle up my ." Which subject has the biggest impact on the jury.
Let's talk. Create a second username if you are shy.[/color]