“I am single and cannot have a relationship with anyone, for no one measures up to my addict . . .” Love addicts are often addicted to drama and excitement. We don’t want love, we want to get high. Romantic love sends certain chemicals flowing through our bloodstream that are very similar to anti-depressants. Love abates our depression. I can understand that a healthier kind of love would be less enticing, but you are an addict and your addiction is killing you. If you end contact with this man (he will not make it easy) and go through withdrawal, then try and accept the fact that “real” love will always be less exciting than addiction. Intense desire—which abates your depression—has turned on you. The cure is worse than the disease. Find another way to treat your depression or live with it. I do both.
I believe now one of the reasons that I am drawn to my PoA is because my depression symptoms are reduced: fatigue, insomnia, malaise, etc. I am currently trying St. John's Wort. I've tried many prescription anti-depressives but the side effects were horrendous.
Is perhaps the reason so many of us have trouble breaking with our PoA is because they alleviate our underlying depression problem?
I do believe there is a strong connection between the two. I can cast my depression aside when I pursue a POA; I can disregard any problems, issues, anxieties when I think of my POA. I can turn my back on real life when I am with my POA.
Problem with that is -- we still have our depression, real life issues, etc. Obsessions over the POA only masks depression/anxiety. And when we break off with the POA, the depression comes back with a vengeance.
Dealing with depression and a POA -- absolutely toxic combination for our mental health.
I need to think about this and come back when i have it straight in my mind as i have suffered with bipolar depressions since i started having sexual relationships at 18 and that is also when my Love addiction started with boyfriends!