Post by Loving My Life on Mar 22, 2014 7:18:03 GMT -8
I was reading some of my old daily meditation books this morning, and I came across this and I wanted to share with everyone.
This comes from the Hazelden Meditation, Answers In The Heart:
It is not our exalted feelings, it is our sentiments that build the necessary home.
When we felt high because of our addictions, we let out our emotions in extravagant, exalted ways, and we thought, we were getting in touch with our feelings. But in fact, we were only getting in touch with our high; our real feelings were forgotten and unused. And after awhile we discounted our real feelings altogether, in favor of our artificial emoting.
Part of our healing process is the rediscovery of deep reservoirs of feeling that have always been part of our inheritance but that have become dammed up and thwarted by our addictions. WE have been operating on false sentiments and affections. Our disease has turned us away from our true selves.
When we say, in the Second Step, that we can be restored to sanity, we are talking about our true feelings, among other things. As a result of our program, we will find that once again we can laugh and cry and express sorrow and anger and joy. The dam has burst; we are released from the killing power of our addiction.
I am leaving to distinguish between the false exaltation that comes from my addiction and true feelings that come directly from my heart.
We have to be able to feel how we feel, and we have to be able to stand up for ourselves, regardless of the outcome. If we don't like something, we say this, and we don't try to change ourselves or another person to make the pieces fit. It is okay if the relationship does not work out, at least you stood up for yourself, and said what you wanted. This is progress.
To Thine Own Self Be True
One day at a time :-) :-). . .We can do together, what we could never do alone. :-) And a problem shared, is a problem cut in half. :-) :-)
Hi Loving My Life, I think that this is really recovery,
I have finished the 4th step, my inventory, and I am really agree with you, I can tell that all my emotions and the way I feel is touched by my addiction, all my personality and my emotions has been touched by this addiction, and it is now, that I do not know about them and about me, I have always lived hoping to get accepted. I can say that I am wise and that I like to be very responsible with my job, and with things I usually do, habits that are very good, but now when I did the inventory, I have noticed that this conduct I have kept since I started this process is because I like how the others accepted me for this and want to be with me for this, I really do not do this conduct for me, I do this just to get the attention of others, and all of this is the same for all the things I do.
That is why, that today, I do not know who really am I, or what do I really want to do for myself, but anyways, I am working on my self-stem, which right not, sad to admitted, but is low, I hope I get better on this.
Thank you for your posts,
These are really helpful for me,
Last Edit: Mar 22, 2014 8:21:23 GMT -8 by carito1988
Post by Loving My Life on Mar 22, 2014 8:39:53 GMT -8
You are so welcome carito, it has only been within the last year that I finally started saying what I needed to say to other people, after 5 years of being sober and in recovery, and it is a process. I have to stay in the middle of my recovery until my self esteem returned, and I had the confidence to finally say what needed to be said without fear of losing people in the process. But I just got tired of being hurt.
You will get to this point as well. And we are always evolving through this process, we continue to change, and our circle of friends change as well, we outgrow people, and this is okay also. I still struggle with this, because I have friends that are own their on path today, and we are not as close as we once were, but I don't try to force myself into their life, I just have hope in the process, and my friends will return when they get to that place in their recovery as well. But my feelings of rejections come in too play everytime, and I know this today. I don't beat myself up, saying I am not good enough. I just know this is the ebb and flow of life. What a blessing to be able to do this today. Healthy people deal with life's little bumps in the road daily as well, so this is very normal. Nothing stays the same.
But I know this friend, I helped get her to her safe place, and her life has changed 1000% now for the better, I gave her the courage to take the step she needed, and I am okay with that. She is a very dear friend of mine. But we don't have to talk all the time. We are all a work in progress. Trudging our own road, and in the end we will all meet again.
Keep up the awesome work in your recovery, it only gets better.