What Really Happens During Withdrawal Jul 16, 2014 10:02:32 GMT -8 havefaith, wahinewha, and 2 more like this
Post by Susan P. on Jul 16, 2014 10:02:32 GMT -8
Age Regression and Withdrawal
Susan Peabody, 2014
Susan Peabody, 2014
Withdrawal is dangerous and should be taken seriously. It is life or death because there is a high suicide and homicide rate associated with it. (See my article Crimes of the Heart.)The root of the problem is separation anxiety.
Separation anxiety is listed in the psychological handbook called the DSM IV as a child's disorder. But adults have it too. When they have bonded and become addicted to someone they regress as far back as infancy and feel the anxiety of an infant crying endlessly in his crib for food or attention.
All children go through a phase when they experience separation anxiety when mother is no longer in sight. Then they select an object to take the place of mom and can cling to the object when mom leaves the room without having an anxiety attack. Fast forward into adulthood. The adult/child picks a person to stand in for their primary caretaker to quell anxiety. When you intervene in this with a breakup then the place in our brain that is still connected our infant memory is activated. Picture a child clinging to a stuffed toy and someone grabbing it and throwing it in the garbage before the child is ready to let it go. This is traumatic then and is traumatic now when that object of affection standing in for mom or dad is snatched away when you are abandoned by your lover.
I have tried to keep a complicated concept simple, but I don't know if all this makes sense to you. I just want you to understand than withdrawal is worse than breaking up is for normal people and includes life or death feelings due to age regression. You must go to any length to get through it. I went to AA everyday for 28 years. Twice a day in the beginning. I also found a confident, wrote, read, and in general broke time down into one minute at a time. I wrote a note to a co-worker if she minded if I screamed. She said go to the bathroom and go at it. Finally, it was popular back then in the eighties to get a stuffed animal to carry wherever you went. I still have mine somewhere.