Lately I have been watching a lot of Lisa A Romano videos on YouTube and have come to the realization that I am not my Mother's Keeper. I am also not my Father's Keeper.
These two people who were broken, lost and addicted to alcohol and drugs-and who suffered (and likely still suffer) from mental health issues did the best they could with what they had where they were. They were loving (at times) and did their best to try to be good parents. They did not realize that they were not there emotionally and did not have the capacity to understand what they were subjecting their children to. They did not know better, so they simply could not do better.
This post is about having compassion, understanding and appreciation for what they went through and why they were not capable of being the parents myself or my brother needed when we were growing up. It's a new perspective on them as people. This does not change how much contact I choose to engage in with them, it's more about compassion and forgiveness of them not being the people I always hoped they would be. And forgiveness for myself as well.
I feel that this is the first step towards writing Step 8... which I have struggled with for a long time. I feel I am ready to start writing my amends and making them when I can.