I’ve recently joined this forum after lots of therapy, reading and understanding that I am a love addict.
This came about due to an affair I had. I met a random man on my bachelorette party and after one night was hooked. It took me a year to completely understand what was going on (that it was an addiction) but was open with my husband about everything.
I have officially ended this affair and am finally going NC. While I do miss my affair partner and still think about him a lot, what is really getting to me is my anxiety about my relationship with my husband. My relationship with my husband is the best and healthiest relationship I have ever been in. But the struggle now is that I am finding it difficult to feel in love with him after everything that happened. I have this darkness that got activated inside me and now when I’m with my husband I constantly question everything about our relationship and wonder if I should leave it and look for love somewhere else.
It’s so hard to go from the affair high to what I felt was ‘boring’. I just want to know if someone has gone through this and if there is hope and if it gets any better. I just want to be healed and be in love with my husband again, I don’t want to have any more doubts, I just want to be happy. I’m trying to hard. Doing therapy, being honest, a daily meditation practice. It’s just been so difficult
BTDT - and you are doing the right things to move through what happened.
I always say this is NOT an easy journey. There are no easy fixes. But one day, after the work you've done on yourself, you will be healed and more self aware. This is a temporary situation, not a thing you will be stuck in until the day you die.
Post by in33dh3lp on Sept 26, 2019 10:17:38 GMT -8
Hi, How are you doing? I was in the similar situation... married and had an affair. The only twist in my story is that I had a child as a result of my affair. It’s been five years since I have been physical with the other man but I still feel those feelings very strong. He has since moved on you can read more of my post. I just saw that they posted you will get better after time. I just do t feel that way. It’s been five years and because I still have to have contact with him. I still feel so many things for him. I want to not have these feelings sometimes I’m good and don’t but that is not a lot. My husband is great, he still loves me and my child. How am I that naive to want someone who does not want me.
When no contact does not dissipate your feelings of love then you are probably a Torchbearer. We have a few threads about this. Look under types of Love addicts. Recovery is a little more difficult for a Torchbearer.