Most of the insanity and despair you experience comes directly from trying to manage and control what you cannot-him and his life. Think about all the attempts you've made: the endless speeches, the pleading, threats, bribes, maybe even violence. And remember, too how you've felt after each failed attempt. Your self esteem slipped another notch, and you became more anxious, more helpless, more filled with anger.
The only way out of all this is to let go, because he will almost never change in the face of pressure from you. Even if you do finally get to hear him say you are the reason he's giving up a behavior, later on you'll find that you're the reason he gives for resuming it.
Last Edit: Jan 31, 2009 12:25:40 GMT -8 by Susan P.