I adore imagination and use it a lot in my recovery. It is a way to massage new ideas into your old self.
My first phantom lover was God the Father, so it was kind of incestuous. But then I am an incest survivor so this is a natural fantasy for me prior to recovery.
One day I was looking at painting of Jesus Christ. I had never seen this particular picture and he was so sexy. I framed the picture and set it on my dresser with a picture of myself as a child. I wrote the poems, The Awaited Suitor, The Marriage, and The Lover.
The Awaited Suitor was about my love addiction. I pined away for the perfect man and found God instead. The Marriage was my commitment to Christ (like nuns do although I did not get myself a ring.) The poem The Lover was about some future human lover. I always wanted my first allegiance (husband) to be Christ).
When I fell in love with Sandra my phantom lover took a back seat to my Higher Power transformed into a spirit woman.
I met Spirit in the shower. I was praying and asked myself "Who am I praying to"" A sweet voice said, "I am a woman and my name is Spirit.
Fast forward to today.
My priority . . . God the Father, Christ the Son, Frank the lover.
Let your imagination evolve with your recovery. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Warning: Do not get addicted to fantasies. If they are not taking you somewhere in your recovery (transference or reinforcment) you have gone to far. In my book I talk about going to far and I list the signs to watch for.
Interesting...........I'll have to read your book, have to order it. At one point I imagined my HP as my lover also.............he laughed and was delighted and then reminded me that he was not a he and not a she............that he was everything/everyone/everywhere/all the time.