Making sense of your longing is a really great focus. I believe that’s really why we are all on this board, longing for someone else when we may not be doing the internal work to discover what we need to heal. Maybe ask yourself, what part of me is longing ? Is it a part of me that needs to heal and it’s not really about the other person? I’ve been asking myself that question for years: why am I attracted to the emotionally unavailable men but not the stable available ones? What pattern from my past is that feeding into? Is it my overweight inner child that feels unlovable and ugly?