Post by sobrietythirst on Jan 13, 2009 18:07:37 GMT -8
I feel as though those who have hurt me are simply walking free and even healthy. I have such minimal patience I can barely function. anytime I am trying to effectively express myself it comes off as an attack. I need to learn how to manage my anger or truly find the source of it.
"Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings." Elizabeth Gilbert
Post by LovingGracefully on Jan 13, 2009 20:41:40 GMT -8
You feel ANGER because you are hurting so badly. I felt the EXACT same way. I was so mad when it seemed he didn't have to pay a price for what went down. I felt like I got sentenced for a crime we both committed. He walked out scott free and I got a life sentence!
But, the truth is, I sentenced MYSELF. There was no judge and jury! I was the judge and jury. I imposed a stiff sentence upon myself because I didn't know any better. I had zero coping tools at my disposal and I was absolutely in the worst emotional shape in my life. The worse it got the worse my choices became. The worse my behaviors became..and so on.
This is serious business. Emotional soundness, emotional clarity and awareness and our ability to create self love is serious, serious business. Our emotional state wraps itself around every single solitary thing in our lives. How we feel will determine our choices, how we respond to others, how we drive, live, love, interact, spend, eat, behave, crave, obsess, work, think...I mean, this list could extend down to the next page. Emotional health means everything.
Anger is an emotion but it is a driving emotion. Being angry will be motivating if you allow it to be. It can also cause chaos, and profound, ugly behaviors if you allow it.
So, you sit with what you know now. Capture what you need out of this feeling...capture it and find out what to do with it. Remember (and this is a hard one) that you cannot control, predict or change what another person is doing or feeling. You are not a mind reader and you cannot say for certain what the other person is feeling. BUT...it does not matter what they are doing or feeling.
Let your anger nudge you into what you need to do...this is a long haul! It's a journey...make it something to look forward to. One thing that helps me is looking at this as my preventative policy so its not repeated. None of us want to be in this place but we are. Denying it won't make it disappear.
Just think, you are going to be more self aware than most people you know...if you continue down this path. You won't be waking up at 90 years old saying to yourself, "I shoulda done that LAA thing...I bet I would have been happier". Now is the time. Don't wake up and have it be 2010 and feel the same way as you do now.
Make this pain motivate you. We, as always, will be here enduring your pain along side you.