I woke up feeling awful anxiety that's about a 6 on a scale of 10. I feel like running over to my POA's house because I think it will relieve the anxiety, but also, I know that he gives me anxiety too, just less than being single does. I feel like, uh oh, here we go, here comes the withdrawal that never ends. It's been 20 minutes so far but I don't think it will ever end. I can't stand this feeling. It's terrifying. I didn't feel it until I started talking to me POA again last night and he wasn't always available by text or me calling and the more we talked, the more I got the impression that I need to let him go for good because he will probably never be as available to me as I need, even with help. I knew it was just a matter of time before the withdrawal set in and I feel tortured and like screaming in my own mind. It's like being on a drug that you don't like and knowing you have to sit through it and wait for it to wear off, it terror. Except I don't know when the effects will ever wear off, if at all. Please tell me again why I am sitting through this withdrawal? I want to somebody to tell me that in a few months, I will not have to feel this anxiety anymore. Because if nobody knows and I'm just going to go another 9 months of my life, wasted, feeling terrified, I'm just going to go see my POA and relieve this feeling. Ugh!
Post by magickwomun on Oct 7, 2012 10:00:41 GMT -8
It will wear off, probably in a few weeks or months. Knowing what you know now will probably make it easier. When you feel yourself panicking, lye down, close your eyes, try to relax your body from head to toe, and take a few deep breathes. Say a prayer or try to meditate for moment, then take a shower and go for a walk or hit your punching bag. If you have any animals, pet them (this is supposed to relieve anxiety). Try listening to a comedian. (I like Lisa Lampanelli and Ron White - if you're not easily offended) This is difficult to do when your mind is racing. If that's causing the panic (which is usually the case), come to the board and post and read, get it out of your mind and replace it with something else.
Mild medication has helped me to an extent, but I'm an anxiety prone person anyway, even without a poa. (I have general anxiety disorder). Try googling "panic", "stress", "anxiety" and "relaxation techniques". Once you get through the withdrawal you wont have to face this kind of anxiety over this guy again and you'll be more available yourself to someone who is more mutually available to you. Try to chill out, remember, he's just a dude. You'll get past the withdrawal eventually, have some faith. Progress, not perfection.
"Giant oak trees started out as little nuts that held their ground".
It's your inner child who is panicking. The fear of abandoment and emptiness is your inner child screaming. Sometimes when I am in panic mode over POA..when it feels like the only out is suicide because I cannot bear the feelings of loss, emptiness, and despair...simply talking to my inner child in a soothing way, really helps. Tell your inner child it's ok, you are there to take care of her. No, poa is not there, but she doesn't need him, that you love her more than he could anyway. Things like that. It really does help.