Post by bluebird on Oct 2, 2008 19:16:10 GMT -8
A boundary is a line--usually an invisible line you set that you don't want others to cross. Your boundaries are defined by your personal limits, values, and life experiences. If you're in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, or if someone does something that you don't like, your line has been crossed. The boundaries you set can affect how a person talks to you, how someone treats you, how someone might touch you, and so much more.
Boundaries aren't walls that close you in or keep people out - they're more like a clear protective bubble you create around yourself. In fat, boundaries are actually about letting people in. Setting and honoring boundaries builds respect in your relationships. When you let people know what you're comfortable with and what will help them be closer to you.
But you can't expect people to guess your boundaries ( or vice versa). We all have to speak up and let our boundaries be known. Usually, the best way to draw a line with someone is by using a straightforward, strong voice to say something like "I don't feel comfortable when you _________. Please don't do that around me anymore."
Copied from a book RESPECT written by Courtney Macavinta and Anderea Varden Plugh, 2005, p.8
The book is directed at young women learning how to give and receive respect. Many of us missed some of these basic interpersonal skills when we were growing up. Our parents may not have had them to share or perhaps other influences kept us from grasping and developing these affirming practices.
We can learn them now.
Even if we know, are we able to practice boundaries in our relationships-- especially with our POA's