Post by carito1988 on Apr 16, 2014 17:12:03 GMT -8
I have fear right now because i will travel soon far away from my family and today I just felt a huge panic inside of me... because all my life my father and my brother have tried to give me everything they can for me and soon I will be just by my own. I am so scared of all the things I need to do before the travel but is in less than 15 days so there is no much time to do them... I am sad and scared for this too. I think i am scared because i know i will face my huge fear of all... being by my own and being totally responsable of my whole life.
Last Edit: Apr 16, 2014 17:15:42 GMT -8 by carito1988
Thank you love animals... i will try to change my mind on this... but anyway i could not sleep well yesterday for this fear... actually what i fear the most is that i will be a long time, far away from them by myself... this trip is to work in another place with a new lenguage.. i know it was and it has been my decition but the fear is present.... i will do my best to change my mind.
Last Edit: Apr 17, 2014 3:50:16 GMT -8 by carito1988
Carito I did the same as you. I was a love addict the whole my life but thank to my mind I was able to migrate to another country to be on my own. I felt terrible emptiness and loneliness at first. Even my peer studends didnt feel the same way as I did. I know it was all the emptiness I have always felt inside but I damped it by my dependency on men and getting high just by falling in love with them by the attraction I felt toward them , but all of the feeling of self hatred and emptineess came up by moving to new place very far from home and fimily. But you always have the hand of God to support you when you are at your weakest state. Be sure about that .
As loveanimals stated: change your thought process. I am with my kids in a state with no other family members. My brother and his family used to live near me but they moved away three years ago. Sometimes I find myself feeling lonely and panicked about being alone. Now I realize that if I keep thinking I am alone I will feel like it. In reality I am not alone and if I need my family they will be there. The funny thing is that I can move away from family on purpose (because I like to travel and live in different places) but then I miss them alot. Keep yourself busy. And know that if you really need them you can reach out to them. Before I would replace that loneliness with a POA but now I know that is not helpful and will only numb the feeling. I would feel more lonely when things did not work out with them. You will be okay...just focus on why you moved. Enjoy where you will be and explore as much as you can. I am looking forward to traveling to see my family at the end of June and visit for over a month. But I also know that I will be looking forward coming back to my home afterwards. We can do it. Just be aware of what and/or who you invite in your life during the times you feel lonely. Stay alert.
Post by CodepNomore on Apr 18, 2014 18:11:23 GMT -8
Fear is normal. It is OK to have it as long as you don't let it rule your decisions and actions. You can do things afraid and continually surrender it to your HP and believe it is all under God's control.
Traveling alone has been a major part of my work. And although previously I was not used to do things solo, I realized that everywhere I go there are wonderful people to meet and amazing opportunities to discover and learn about myself and the amazing universe. So it turned out to be one of my most enriching experiences.
First time is generally the hardest. Just try to focus on the benefits of this journey and you will enjoy it.
Your recovery is worth the pain of your withdrawal. Remember that "the pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow." Fantasy-based relationship is a lie. Face your reality and stay well!Kind Regards to all LAA members here, - Codepnomore
Post by carito1988 on Apr 19, 2014 17:36:35 GMT -8
Thank for all your support... yes.. i am in panic right now to be alone ... yesterday i have also bad dreams about it.. i did not know until today how deep is my depence to my family and people where i live ... but all your words help me to change my mind... i can not avoid the fear i have but i can let God take my life and continue with this step... i will do it and even i have fear i am happy in other hand... i know i made this trip to help me heal many things i have inside of me too... just hoping to rest well these days.
Last Edit: Apr 19, 2014 17:39:05 GMT -8 by carito1988