I am having a very hard time right now. I was on this board several months ago, but then I just kind of left. I think it was because I did not really want to admit that I have a problem. I am most definitely a love addict. Not a sex addict, but definitely a love addict. I need advice. I am married, and I do love my husband. But, not in the crazy in love, exciting sort of way. I know this sounds SO selfish. But I have been seeking attention from other men who do give me that stereotypical "in love" feeling. I keep going from one to the next. Most are just emotional affairs, but one did turn physical. I told my husband about it because the guilt was eating me alive. We are in marriage therapy, and trying to improve our relationship. But, I cannot stop seeking attention from other men. I will find someone who dotes on me and tells me how beautiful I am. I will "fall in love" Then things will fizzle out and I will feel totally and utterly heart broken and then move on to someone else. I am like a 17 year old! Only, in actuality I am 32 and married with 4 children! What is wrong with me? I am wondering if there is a woman I could private chat with? I need help and do not even know where to begin.
Your situation is not unusual. You are NOT going crazy. Aside from the "hit" of seeking emotional attachment from other men, you are, chronologically, hitting your sexual peak. 32 is not over the hill. Seeking/wanting sex from men other than your husband is not uncommon at this age. Others would not agree, I know. JMO.
EMAs, tho, let me warn you as a MW in a 20 year marriage, can be toxic to a love addict. EMAs will take you to the Pacific trenches of despair. The ending of an EMA leaves you with your heart ripped out. I used to think somebody's death would be easier to deal with than the ending of my EMAs.
Besides marriage therapy with your DH, are you also in individual counseling? Individual helped me tremendously WHEN I was at the point I needed to listen and engage.
Have you been reading the board and of other people's struggles? Did you strongly veer towards the "love addict" spectrum? I suggest reading, and then writing things down. Points which stand out to you.
It's an intensely lonely place to be where you are. Understand there are a few of us who know what you are going through and are not going to judge you.
Psychodynamic therapy helped me more than I can say. Like you, I was stuck in an adolescent mindset -- for reasons I won't get into here (but if you read my past posts, it will explain why). This particular type of therapy with a competent psychiatrist saved my life...