Its the start of another day for me and I am already exhausted. Today will be day 3 of my LC since I've relapsed. I'm proud of myself for every single day. The good news is that the end of the semester is approaching and I can't wait to go home to be with my daughter. But the bad news is that due to the big hole I've dug myself into school wise I may not graduate and therefore will have to just get a job. My daughter needs to b provided for and I let myself get in the way of that. I've been absent mentally. In a drunken...miserable daze these past 4 months. I regret letting my PoA have so much power over me.
But it has truly been a fight. It just sucks to know that I've made a mistake that will affect the rest of my life while he can be just fine.
I spent all of yesterday drunk trying to forget about this dismal truth but I will not today. My inner child feels like she's dying and today I want to rescue her
I feel numb. Like nothing matters. I've isolated myself from family and friends because nobody understands how I feel. To them I am just a weak person who can't cope with life. I made a mistake by putting all of my problems on my PoA
I will never do that to anyone again....
Even if that means holding it all in. I'm thankful for this board and all the support there is here. This is truly the only place where I feel understood.