Post by Crazydramanomore11 on May 27, 2015 22:19:01 GMT -8
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Hi everyone-I'm new to this forum but feel like it's a godsend because I already feel like there's hope for me. My husband just ended our 4 year marriage I mean we're still legally married but I moved out with our two girls 5 days ago and moved in with my family. However I still rely on him for financial support and the girls still want to see him. Since we've separated he's been drinking everyday and since he's a porn addict he's prob going overtime with that too. I'm trying to not contact him but have for valid reasons like discussing bills and what not but have had like 4 slips where I get pathetic and tell him I miss him. He's a good guy but has addiction issues which I thought were under control since he hasn't drank for over a year but I guess it's still an issue and prob always will be. How can I break MY addiction to him and this toxic relationship but still have him be involved with the girls and be mature enough to handle the financial side of the situation?? Feeling very panicky and overwhelmed
Last Edit: May 28, 2015 12:38:29 GMT -8 by Susannah
Second, you have to get clear on what this break up means and why it is so important to your overall health. Even though he left you, it sounds to me like a blessing in disguise. You need to start to SEE it that way. To do so, read, read, and read some more on love addiction and creating VALUES for yourself. When you know your values, it's easier to see why and how you do the things you do. thelovelyaddict.com/2010/01/10/what-are-values/
If possible, you may want to enlist the help of family or friends to handle the exchange of your kids. Ift may be possible for you to have him pick them up only when you are not around or have a trusted friend or relative do some of the transporting for you.
Depending on the ages of your kids, it may be possible to have their relationship with their dad be separate from your relationship with him.
Ideally you'd work together to raise them post divorce, but that can only happen when appropriate boundaries are laid out and respected.