Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 29, 2017 9:11:26 GMT -8
Are sex addiction and love addiction the same thing? No! sex addicts are addicted to the sexual experience. The goal is orgasm. Emotional intimacy is not important. Many professionals believe that the preoccupation with sex is an attempt to avoid emotional intimacy by connecting with someone sexually.
Love addiction, on the other hand, comes in many forms, all them different from sex addiction. Some love addicts carry a torch for unavailable people. Some love addicts obsess when they fall in love. Some love addicts get addicted to the euphoric effects of romance. Others cannot let go of a toxic relationship even if they are unhappy, depressed, lonely, neglected or in danger. Some love addicts are codependent and others are narcissistic. Some love addicts use sex to manage feelings; others are sexually anorexic. The common denominator is this: unlike sex addicts, love addicts crave an emotional connection and will avoid at any cost separation anxiety and loneliness.
I see myself in many of these love addict categories. Ugh! Where to begin...? It's a bit overwhelming.
As my mother used to say . . .
Every journey of a thousand miles begins with that first step . . .
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet . .
The first step is to be hopeful and try not to be overwhelmed. The second step is to admit you have a problem. The third step is to ask for help. The fourth is to try to things every if you are afraid. The fifth step is to change how you think and behave. The sixth step is to build up your self-esteem. We can help you with all that. You have come a long way already.
Freely, freely you have received. Freely, freely give. Go in my name and because you believe others will know that I live . . . christianwomensunion.com
Post by faith~hope~love on Oct 2, 2017 15:20:29 GMT -8
Thank you. Therapy with a certified Love Addiction therapist has been helping, but reading as much as possible on this forum has been helping just as much. I wish I had an LAA group I could attend in person, so I could give and receive in-person support. How does one find that?
I have also been revisiting my spiritual life again, which did not feel possible when I was in contact with my PoA (which stopped 9/19). Withdrawal pain comes and goes, but it seems to be easing somewhat overall as I become accustomed to it.
I tell myself "one foot in front of the other"...even if I feel like I have two left feet... ;-)
Post by Iamawomanallbymyself on May 26, 2019 4:54:42 GMT -8
How could you recover in AA? I have started to join AA but I am not an alcoholic like people are in AA. I can drink one glass and then stop. I want to be honest in AA. It's 3 meetings that I join AA face to face. It's on Mondays and Thursdays night. I am a love addict and this creates me difficulties in all relationships not only romantically. And I know the core problem is the lack of self care and self love.
Try the steps on the board here that are listed. They are based on the Alcoholics Anonymous steps. All it takes is STARTING on Step One and DOING THE HARD work that each step entails. Do not expect an instant "Oh, I feel so great now!" nor the process to take a day. Or a week. Or even two months. It is a lengthy process.
FWIW I am not an alcoholic (but have many family members who are and are in the AA Program) but get The Grapevine, their magazine.