12 Steps for Breaking Up Dec 28, 2019 17:50:38 GMT -8
Post by Susannah on Dec 28, 2019 17:50:38 GMT -8
12 Steps for Breaking Up
"Success lies in being able to retreat at the right moment and in the right manner. The success is made possible by the fact that the retreat is not the forced flight of a weak person but the voluntary withdrawal of a strong one.” The I Ching or Book of Changes
Now and then, no matter how hard you try to make a relationship work, you have to admit defeat and call it quits. The following suggestions may prove helpful if this is the case.
1. Face your fear. To do this must "feel the fear and do it anyway." No matter how hard it is you make a decision and you follow through no matter what. And, despite your fear, be optimistic and know that there will be a brighter tomorrow. You have learned a lot. You have a new understanding of what to do next time. You have done the right thing. You are free to move on.
2. Admit you have a problem. Admit this to yourself and to someone else. And reach out for help from friends, family, a support group, or therapist.
3. Distract yourself with activities. Do something fun and hang out with friends who understand. Start a new hobby or go on a vacation.
4. Treat your anxiety and depression in a way suited to you. This means consulting a professional and considering medication on a short term basis. If this is not right for you practice positive thinking and be optimistic about the future.
5. Give yourself time to heal. Whether your withdrawal is short or long, things will get better in time.
6. This would also be a good time to build up your confidence and self-esteem.
7. Be patient with yourself.
8. Avoid fantasizing about reconciliation. You have probably tried this before and it did not work.
9. Avoid blaming yourself as an excuse to try again.
10. Do not believe him when he says he will do better this time. This won't last.
11. Give up the notion that he is the only one that can make you happy. This is just not true. If you cannot give up this fantasy you are addicted to this person.
12. Beware of false promises to give you something that had previously withheld.