Hi I’m Jeanine I’m from NY. I have been addicted to relationship With a drug addict for 5 years. I can’t tell reality from fantasy of him being/getting clean. I constantly go back to him believing his lies but I know he’s lying that he’s “ not using” and he has stopped. Everytime I see him I regret it from the second we meet. I’m in a sick cycle I cannot break. I feel weak and tired and depressed. I’m in therapy but I can’t seem to stay away from him. I’m not drug user. Most of the time we are together he is totally shut down drooling and slumped over 😞. He won’t go to rehab and doesn’t think he has a problem! His mother is the biggest enabler by taking care of him feeding and housing him. I tossed him out 3 years ago for the sake of my children not having drugs in a home with them. I always found needles hidden in the bathroom. Why would I want to be with just a unconscious body?? What’s wrong with me? I’ve never felt like su Co a failure. I’m not unattractive and I can meet new me. But I haven’t since I met him. I want to be free from this torture of watching him DIE slowly. I want out. But I can’t seem to do it. Thanks for reading this.
Last Edit: Jan 21, 2020 9:47:00 GMT -8 by Susannah
Keep coming back here, and read some of the other members’ stories. You are not the only one who felt helpless in a relationship that they knew was unhealthy. Some of the people here have made some amazing changes for the better in their lives.
Welcome . . . If you are addicted to an addict that makes you codependent. We have a thread on that under "Kinds of Love Addicts." More is written about this than anything because it was identified before love addiction.
I am codependent. I wanted to "fix" all the men I loved. In therapy I discovered where the urge came from. I was 8 years old and I saw my father crying. That was the moment I wanted to fix people. I really could do nothing to help my father but when I grew up the urge to fix other men because an obsession. I spend thousands of dollars and neglected my children.
I am glad you are to get help.
P.S. Codependents are good people but they have no boundaries. I still try to fix people but not at the expense of my own happiness or my sanity or my family.
Post by victoria1008 on Jan 25, 2020 8:34:30 GMT -8
I just wanted to say you are not alone! I have been addicted to a person, who also happens to be a drug user, for 7 years. I have been through the yo yo game. It is hard. Truly it is. But you can absolutely do this and get away from him. Withdrawal sucks, but it is so important. For me, no contact is the only way I can do it. I am powerless when I am in contact with him(step 1). SLAA meetings and this forum have been a lifeline for me. Please feel free to reach out if you need to! We all understand and we are here for you. You can do this.