Post by Susan Peabody on Aug 15, 2008 13:58:28 GMT -8
My first addiction was to my father, but he ignored me so I started following my sister around around like a puppy dog. I was 4 years old. I begged her to play with me. I cried when she would not. At night I would sneak into her room and lie down at the foot of her bed. That was the only way I could sleep. I remember obsessing about her as if I were in love.
I believe this happens a lot in families where the parents are not nurturing the children enough.
Regarding my father . . . Yes! most children are in love with the parent of the opposite sex, and this is normal, but when things go wrong this natural process can manifest itself as an addiction and become a template for future addictions. Howard Halpern explains what can go wrong (too much or too little attention) which results in an abnormal "attachment hunger." (In my book I call it the "hungry heart.") We just know that the Oedipus dilemma becomes an addiction with some children and then keep being transferred to the next person in line. In my case it was my sister and then Alan Sparks in the 6th grade.